The Year Gone By

It's that time of year again, to think about what you want to change in your life. Frankly, I think about that concept quite frequently. As most of you know, this last year was a tough one. I did accomplish a few things I never thought I would, and overall I wouldn't EVER say I have a bad life. For those of you who don't know, here's a brief overview:

• The Heroes of Edenville was picked up by Firefly and Wisp Publishing in January, which I retracted the book from later in the summer.
• The first guy I ever fell in love with (who broke my heart when I was 20) contacted me after no contact for more than 6 years. He apologized to me for everything he'd done, and mended a place in my heart I hadn't known still harbored a wound. Though we don't speak anymore, I feel quite good about the whole thing, and know that it did my health some good as well.
• Nick and I were engaged on the 4th of July (though I guess it was unofficially since he didn't have ring), and then we also broke up twice. The first time lasted 3 days, the second was permanent. I do not feel any ill will towards him, and the two of us remain good friends.
• My adopted sister, Dimple passed away on March 30th, in her sleep. This is the one thing that still gets me crying at random times, because I miss her more and more all the time. She would have celebrated her 27th birthday only four days ago.
• At the end of September I hit the road with my belongings and moved to West Virginia. I'm loving it here! Only problem is I haven't found a job yet. I thought the job with my auntie's work was going to be a sure thing, but it turns out it wasn't, and I've been too stubborn to try to get back into retail.

Needless to say I've had to make a few changes!

I've decided to live in the moment, and make the changes I've always said I would someday. I now live with my parents, which has been awesome. It's been really good to be around them so much. Mom and I have started doing crafts, and cooking odds and ends (which, if you know me, you know that I don't cook because I used to burn everything), and we've made some great stuff! I started making jewelry out of metal washers, and they have turned out beautifully! I'm actually going to start selling them as well as other crafts.

Dad and I have been collaborating on the blueprints for my dream home, and designs for my furniture. We've decided to build most of the furniture that will go inside, and I'm so excited about it! I've been exploring and experimenting with Pinterest DIY projects, so I've got more ideas and things to do than ever! Dad and I will be building a PVC paddle car (which he says he's been thinking about putting a motor on; Might be a good thing, if we put one on, just because of all the hills around here!), and I've been designing patterns for my own clothes! I'm starting my weight-loss process, so I figure I'm going to refashion a lot of the clothes I have already as I shrink, so they'll fit.

Anyway, the gist of it is, I'm doing everything for myself now. I'm starting to make my own clothes, jewelry and even beauty products! I've been looking into different career fields I could go into, and into different publishing companies and agents. I'm taking control of my body, and ridding myself of the flaws I've always been bugged by. Don't get me wrong, I do not have low self-esteem! There are simply some things I would rather change about how I look. My weight has always been disturbing to me. I don't feel fat at all, but when I look in a mirror I see that my feelings are a bit contradictory, and I'm trying to make them coincide.

I have big BIG plans for the future, and I have the strength to see them through! Once I get a job--and I'm determined to get a good one soon!-- I'll start saving up as much mullah as I can, and start making the furniture Dad and I have been working on! I'm going to build my dream home (which I've redesigned to cost less, and better suite my needs, plus it's a lot cheaper here to do things like that!), I'm going to get my books published, and on my 29th birthday (in 602 days) I'm going to start thinking about having a baby. I don't need a man to make me happy, as I am content to be myself, but I have always wanted a child. I've had so many people tell me what a wonderful mother I would make, and it's the one thing that makes me depressed at all, because children are the one thing I've always wanted more than anything. So, I'll be looking into artificial insemination, and so on, at that point. I've told myself that now is not the time to be looking into it, because I've just gone through a big change by moving across country, and I'm still trying to put things together financially, etc. Still, I have a countdown app on my phone that tells me how many days till I turn 29! LOL

In the meantime, my dear, dear friend, Amber, has made me godmother of her two boys, Matt and Abel. I love those kids so much! I'm so grateful for all three in that family! You may have noticed a lot of Amber on my FB page, so I thought I'd give you the story:

Before I moved here, my mom said she had friends lined up for me, and I had laughed. However, when I arrived in West Virginia, my mom introduced a worker from the local 7-Eleven to me. Amber was very energetic and I found her personality and smile contagious. We really did become friends quickly. The second time we spoke she invited me to a haunted cornfield with a group of people (it was near Halloween), and I accepted automatically. We had a blast! The dude from Jeepers Creepers smiled at me and I was so excited! His mask looked so real, it was like being in the movie! Plus, the guys from the group I was in kept asking the characters to marry them, and I even joined in by asking a dude in a gas mask to marry me as he breathed down my neck! He actually lifted his mask up and asked "really?" like he was so excited! I couldn't stop laughing! Then Jason from Friday the 13th nearly ran me over, and a zombie nearly bit my leg! It was a night to remember! I became friends with Amanda and Justin from that group, and shortly thereafter we added Brian, and the five of us became "the group." I love being around them!

So honestly I have been blessed! I've moved to a great place, get to see my parents as often as I want, and I've made a bunch of real good friends whom I'm ecstatic to have! Then of course I also have been talking to someone else on the phone via text whom I didn't think would keep in touch, nor share my feeling of not wanting to lose touch ever, which makes me excited each time my phone goes off! Life is good!

So what is my New Year's Resolution? To continue doing what I have been doing these last couple months, but with more intensity: To be self-motivated, self-sufficient, an initiative taker, a fierce friend and daughter, and to take all measures possible to fulfill my dreams and goals.

As a suggestion, here is something else I'm doing which would be neat for a lot of you. I have a jar that I will keep handy throughout the 2013 year, and every time something good happens, something funny, or memorable, I'm going to write them down on a small piece of paper and put it in the jar. On New Years Eve 2013, I'm going to open the jar and read what I've written for the year. This is the first year I'm doing this, and I think I'll keep doing it every year from now on! It's definitely something that will keep you thankful! Mom is doing one she wants to open every year on Thanksgiving. :)

Well that's it for right now, my friends. I'm glad we had this chat! I hope 2013 brings you all prosperity, happiness, and lots of love! I know I'm sending you all as much as I can! :) Love you! TTFN!